ROMNEY: POOR PEOPLE TASTE LIKE CHICKEN, NICE WITH A GOOD SANCERRE - OH, REALLY, MITT?

In Possible Gaffe, Romney Says Poor People 'Taste Like Chicken'

Awkward Moment at Ohio Wrestling Event

TOLEDO (The Borowitz Report)) – In what some political observers are calling a possible gaffe on the part of the former Massachusetts governor, Mitt Romney told a crowd gathered for a World Wrestling Entertainment event in Ohio today, “I love poor people. They taste like chicken.”

After an awkward silence from the crowd and a smattering of boos, Mr. Romney added, “Really, you should try them someday. They go well with a nice Sancerre.”

The GOP frontrunner’s latest faux pas came just two days after Mr. Romney’s big win in the Michigan primary, in which he narrowly defeated a mental patient in a sweater vest.

In Michigan, Mr. Romney had spoken to workers at a GM plant, saying, “I love cars. I’m like a car. I was conceived in Michigan and my microcircuitry is from Japan.”

In other campaign news, former Senator Rick Santorum addressed the controversy over contraception, telling a crowd in Dayton, “The best form of contraception will always be underwear with a picture of me on the crotch.”

In other news:

-- North Korea said it would stop making nuclear weapons if the US stops making Chipmunks sequels.

-- Bristol Palin announced plans to do a reality show, despite her mother's longstanding objection to reality.

-- And "Jersey Shore" star Snooki is pregnant, according to People I Don't Give a Shit About magazine.


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Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half.
-- Gore Vidal