HAVE A NUCLEAR DIAGNOSTIC PROCEDURE? DON'T LEAVE THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE WITHOUT YOUR PAPERS:

Pressed into your hand and impressed on your brain are papers you MUST carry or risk being arrested:

PROCEDURE: You will be injected with a safe low dose radioactive material...it takes 2 days to remove it from your system.


But here's the paper for the politzia:

RADIATION AND SECURITY CHECKPOINTS

The Florida Department of Transportation is conducting radiation scans at more and more transportation checkpoints.  The radiation detection devices used are very sensitive and will detect the smallest amount of radioactivity.  These devices however are unable to detect the type of radiation present.  Consequently, security officials may err on the side of caution until the situation is evaluated and you are allowed to continue with your travel plans.

You have been injected with a small amount of radioactive material.  This radioactive material will be detectable for a relatively short length of time.  Therefore, we are asking you to carry this piece of paper with you for a few days to inform the security personnel, what type, amount, and half life of the radioactive material you were injected with.

Lists name of isotope, name of patient, date of procedure, half life and amount used.