No nachos and beer for the Obamas. No Golden Corral buffets, either. Hey - what's his family eating in Kenya these days?
I really like Glenn Beck. We don't always agree, but he's an ok dude.
Glenn Beck: Obama and Iranian Caviar
[Insider] Audio Available:
October 17, 2008 - 3:00 ET
GLENN: Meanwhile Joe the plumber, speaking of Barack Obama, who's just like you, you know, because he -- I mean, he hangs out with people like Joe the plumber and Joe the Senator, you know, Joe Biden. He's -- may I say something to you? He's -- Joe Biden is Joe Six-Pack -- well, not six-pack as much as, you know, Joe, a bottle of fine Chardonnay. But yesterday Barack Obama who's just like you, is talking at the Waldorf Astoria. "I've got to get to the Waldorf." So he's staying at the Waldorf Astoria and he and his wife just want to order a little something in their room. "What do we have? Honey, what do you say, let's just call for something up in room service. I don't know. Just something to pick at a little bit, maybe, I don't know, some peasant food of some sort. What do they have here at the Waldorf Astoria?" Well, apparently at 4:00 in the afternoon yesterday (phone ringing)... "Room service. Yes?" "Yes, this is the Obama room and we would like just to have something to pick at, just something simple. What do you have?" "Well, we have some quesadillas." "No, no, I was thinking something a little more like maybe some lobster hors d'oeuvres." "Oh, those hors d'oeuvres things?" "Yes, what you said. I'd like some lobster hors d'oeuvres, two whole steamed lobsters, a little Iranian caviar. Do you have Iranian caviar?" "Ooh, I don't know, hang on just a second. Are we still only serving the Syrian caviar or -- yes, we have the Iranian." "Oh, that's lovely. I love, love -- the only conditions that I will set is that my meal must include Iranian caviar. Anyway, we'd like a little Iranian caviar, the two whole steamed lobsters, a little lobster hors d'oeuvres and a little champagne. After all, you can't have the 4:00 hour go by without a little bubbly." You've got to be kidding me! When I read this story just a minute ago, I asked Stu. And Stu, have you done any checking? Was it their anniversary yesterday?
STU: I don't know yet, no.
GLENN: My gosh, I just for -- I am so sorry. I forgot. It is an essential occasion. It's just a Thursday, "A little caviar on Thursday." Who is this guy!
STU: Their anniversary is October 3rd.
GLENN: Their anniversary is October 3rd? Maybe, maybe they were having their anniversary dinner at 4:00 in the afternoon. That's a possibility. Can somebody check and see if they had time together for their anniversary. I've never even had caviar. I might have had it by mistake one time. You know, it's one of those things that you're like, "What's that?" I mean, you know, not like -- you know, I never ordered it. It's like one of those -- you know, you go to -- have you ever been to one of those buffets, you go to those buffets and they got crap that you've never seen before and you're like, "I don't know." And you just start loading stuff up on your plate? You know, come on. You've never been to Shoney's? You've never had the caviar at Shoney's? It's Tennessee caviar, but it's really, really good. I've never had caviar. Have you ever had caviar, Stu?
STU: No, and I have no possible desire to eat it.
GLENN: I think we should -- I'm in Detroit. There's got to be lots of caviar here.
STU: Oh, yes, the caviar capital of the world, Detroit is.
GLENN: Adam, go outside, go outside downtown Detroit, see if you can find some caviar, will you? "We must have some caviar, it's lovely this time of year. Excuse me. Excuse me, sir. Where might I find some caviar and toast points?"
I don't even order this stuff. I mean, honestly. You go to -- my eyes shooting blood out of the -- my wife would choke the bat crap out of me if I ever went to a hotel -- I get yelled at if I order orange juice at a hotel. I mean, you order at a hotel, I'm not kidding you. We were at a hotel in New York and this is before we started the television, and we went up to New York and we were doing the pilot for the television show and so we had to stay in this hotel for, like, three, four days. So we're up in this hotel and I get to the hotel and my wife was making peanut butter sandwiches on the bed and I said, you know, they do have room service. She said, do you know how much hot chocolate is? Do you know how much a peanut butter sandwich is? I went out -- I'm not paying that. I went out and I got bread and peanut butter and jelly. I mean, that's the way real people are, for the love of Pete. Can you even imagine? What does love -- we have to call the Waldorf Astoria. What does lobster hors d'oeuvres, two steamed lobsters and Iranian cav -- side point, your Honor. May I have an ADD moment? Iranian caviar? Iranian caviar? If you're Barack Obama or John McCain, do you have anything Iranian right now! "I don't know. Do you have anything imported from Iran?" "Hang on just a second. Do we have anything from Iran?" "Look like we have a little anthrax right now. Would you like a little anthrax?" "No, no, no. Just the caviar. Send in the caviar. Thank you very much." My gosh. But remember, he's just like you. He Joe Six-Pack. He's Joe Six-Pack. "As long as Château Lafite is put in a bag with six bottles."
I would never have lobster in a hotel. Of course, then again I don't have his schedule -- oh, wait a minute. Yes, I do. I don't think I would ever have lobster at the hotel. My wife would choke me to death. Unless it's the anniversary. I will excuse him for this, at the time of the greatest economic crisis the country may have ever faced, you know, to go and have his lobster and caviar and toast points, oh, yeah, and lobster hors d'oeuvres, I'll excuse him as not being completely out of touch with the American people if it were his anniversary. Can you find out, Stu?
STU: His anniversary is October 3rd.
GLENN: Do you even listen to this show?
STU: You said October --
GLENN: Do you even listen to this show?
STU: I mean, occasionally. It's okay, a couple of times a week. Small bursts.
GLENN: Can you make this one of those days that you listen to the show? Could you do that? Just make today the day that, I'm going to commit myself.
STU: In small bursts, I can do that, yes.
GLENN: No, I need you to listen to the whole three hours, three hours. Hannity is like, three hours, listen every day for three hours, that's all I ask. I don't even ask the listeners to do that. I'm just asking you. I'm paying you to do it. Could you just do it for three hours for me, for God, for your country, for your paycheck? Could you do it?
STU: I can try.
GLENN: How about for some caviar?
STU: Iranian caviar? How about --
GLENN: "That's all we serve here at the Glenn Beck program. Of course it's Iranian caviar. What kind of slop do you think we'd be serving here?"
STU: I'm trying to call the Waldorf Astoria and you keep interrupting me. What are you asking me?
GLENN: What I'm asking you is did -- can you go back and look at the Obama, you know, October 3rd -- forget it. Forget it. I don't need you. Hey, Joe, you'll get it done.
STU: You just asked me to do something exactly the opposite that I'm in the middle of doing.
GLENN: You replaceable.
STU: I agree.
GLENN: Joe, Joe, would you look -- go back to the Obama schedule and find out if there's any stories about that they celebrated their anniversary, you know, "The Obamas had the night off or they did something, it was their anniversary." Can you do that? Because if it's his anniversary, I get it.
STU: This is --
STU: This is exactly in the story I was just reading to you. I don't understand.
GLENN: What is in the story?
STU: Their anniversary. They were celebrating their anniversary on October 3rd. What do you think I -- what do these words coming out of my mouth mean?
GLENN: No, you said their anniversary was October 3rd. You didn't say that they were celebrating it.
STU: Who celebrates their anniversary two weeks after their anniversary?
GLENN: Busy people that are running for the presidency of the United States.
STU: The guy makes it to the gym 12 times a day. He can't celebrate his own anniversary?
GLENN: Have you never -- are you selling me you've never been in a situation -- you know, call me crazy. You're four weeks away from, you know, being the President of the United States, and please. So you're four weeks away from being the President of the United States. You're a little busy. You don't say, "Hey, honey, I'm sorry, I've got to give this -- you know, I've got to do this puppet show where I, you know, say every puppet that, you know, doesn't like this puppet is a racist, I've got to do that for a couple -- can we celebrate our anniversary, I don't know, in a couple of weeks? How about on this night? I've got an opening." You don't think that's possible?
STU: It might not be impossible. I'm not saying it's never occurred but there would be no reason for it, no reason for it. He can handle it. He's got people, he's got giant 747s flying all around the country.
GLENN: I don't think I've ever hated anybody more than you.
STU: See, I don't understand why you are attacking me.
GLENN: I just don't think I've hated anybody more than you.
STU: There's no reason to be so hostile.
GLENN: I'm not hostile. I'm just stating a fact. It's just a fact. It's just a fact. It's like, "Glenn, it was in that story. That story I read to you, it's me saying that to you. It's just Stu, it's in the story, you know?" I don't think I've hated anybody more than you.
STU: I don't understand what I've done. I think you might need a little time to relax. A little time off.
GLENN: I don't need to relax. You know how long it's been since I had a little Iranian caviar? "How can I survive without it another minute. Oh, the agonizing moments that go by in between my caviar and champagne dinners at 4:00. How do I survive?" .
For those who can afford it, or for those who want to know where your tax dollars go (and this is for every politician) to pay their salaries, check the prices for Iranian caviar. You can start here:
Choose your room or suite at the Waldorf Astoria (but don't forget to register and log in first, because you can't find out how much they are unless you do. Ain't the Motel 6! http://waldorfastoria.hilton.com/en/wa/hotels/information.jhtml;jsessionid=NXGXNKO0S1F5WCSGBJC222Q?ctyhocn=NYCWAWA&key=ACCOMMODATIONS
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