A cake for Christmas!

PROBABLY THE BEST YOU HAVE EVER HAD!
>
>
> Christmas Cake
>
> Ingredients:
>
> * 2 cups flour
> * 1 stick butter
> * 1 cup of water
> * 1 tsp baking soda
> * 1 cup of sugar
> * 1 tsp salt
> * 1 cup of brown sugar
> * Lemon juice
> * 4 large eggs
>
> * Nuts
> * 1 bottle tequila
> * 2 cups of dried fruit
>
> Sample the tequila to check quality. Take a large bowl,
> check the tequila again. To be sure it is of the highest
> quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the
> electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy
> bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point
> it's best to make sure the tequila is still OK. Try
> another cup... Just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy.
> Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of
> dried fruit.
>
> Pick the frigging fruit up off floor. Mix on the turner. If
> the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it
> loose with a drewscriver. Sample the tequila to check for
> tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something.
> Check the tequila. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your
> nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or some fink.
> Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin
> 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to
> beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the
> window. Finish the tequila and wipe counter with the cat.
>
> Bingle Jells!
>