TSA RADIATION - DR. WILLIAM CAMPBELL DOUGLASS II, MD

Pilots could thwart body scanners

The biggest "threat" to airport security isn't a terrorist -- it's a pilot!

Michael Roberts, who had been flying for ExpressJet out of Memphis for more than four years, told the TSA where to stick it when federal agents at the airport demanded that he go through an invasive full-body scanner before reporting for work.

I've been warning you about these things: They use radioactive blasts to create nude images of everyone who hopes to fly. Despite government claims to the contrary, they're anything but safe -- especially for frequent travelers such as pilots.

Naturally, Roberts was sent home for his unpatriotic act and the airline needed to find another pilot that day -- but he may have ignited a movement. The head of the Allied Pilots Association is recommending that all other pilots do a Michael Roberts impression when they're asked for a body scan.

I'd recommend you do the same -- but that'll probably just tick off the TSA agents and subject you to some highly aggressive fondling and groping in the name of "safety."

In other words, your best option is keeping your feet on the ground.

Radioactively yours,

William Campbell Douglass II, M.D.